Looking for some old posts from some old blogs to support some posts [on S4H] I was making earlier that I used to read many years ago (unholy run-on sentence, Harley Quinn!), and found myself re-reading them and perhaps re-learning that introversion isn’t some sort of disease afterall, found this article (from a blog about autism) I thought I lost forever and figured some of my fellow “social retards” (if you’ll pardon the unfiltered 4chan lingo) may be interested (bold added by me):
Introverts and Night Clubs
Night clubs embody a mentality that is inimical to my own. That is exactly why I have been drawn to them on occasion.
To grow we all need challenges and changes. Putting oneself in an unfamiliar insecure place is a good way of doing so.
I hate all the latest pop music and dislike dancing to it even more, yet I would get myself out on the dance floor and experiment.
Strangely, I find there is a place for night clubs in the life of an introvert.
Night clubs are full of crowds so it’s like an arena full of bumper cars at an amusement park.
No matter how much you screw up, there’s no real consequences.
Short of threatening or physically assaulting someone, you can try what you like and see what happens.
You’ll make a fool of yourself again and again, but you’re a stranger. You’ll never again see all those other people.
You can keep trying and trying until you’re up to speed with everyone else.
At a night club, an introvert has that great ally of anonymity on their side.
Really, it’s not so different from posting articles online under silly pseudonyms such as “Gluon the Ferengi.”
You don’t even have to make a whole lot of conversation, the music is so damn loud most of the time that no one can really say anything except by shouting at the top of their lungs into each other’s ears. It really is reduced to raw chemistry.
For introverts who are behind in social development, bars and nightclubs can be a lifesaver. They are a place to remedy HID(Human Interaction Deficiency); it’s easy to satisfy the craving for physical contact with others. They are laboratories for scientific experiments in human social behavior.
Now, I have said before* that I don’t consider myself to be one of the pickup artists. Their cynical, nihilistic ideas are a moral and intellectual dead end.
I don’t like the whole zero sum mentality of night clubs, but they do reveal our underlying instinctual drives and the social trends that must inevitably result.
As for me, going to clubs is a way of getting to know the enemy: ourselves.
If a Subtle person is to turn away from the surface world, they should first know what they turn from and why.
In night clubs, one can find the very quintessence of the Surface world. Everything you need to know to make a decision can be found there.
Ultimately I find:
The surface world has many privileges and pleasures, but is weak when it comes to meaning, purpose, and fulfillment.
Fulfillment is the greater good to me, even if happiness were the price. For the word ‘happiness’ in our modern language is just another of the pleasures.
* Bonus round!
The False Glamor of Pickup Culture
“Someone needs to get laid.” Is one of the stock responses to one who shies from conventional social venues.
The ultimate proof to the socialite of an introvert’s wrongdoing is their more frequent lack of sexual companionship.
In addressing this matter, I would look to pickup artists, and in general those who get frequently laid by means of their social prowess.
The success of these individuals is taken to be the disproof of everything cloistered, nerdly, and inspired of solitude:
However, its not the magnificent thing it’s touted to be.
Pickup artists/seducers count themselves superior oftentimes on the most fundamental of grounds: the Darwinian.
They hold that it is they who will propagate the species, not the pathetic ‘shy people.’
This turns out to be an absurd proposition upon examining the actual conduct of these people.
It is a rarity to actually hear of them having children! If ever they do it is later in life.
They scrupulously use protection during sex so their escapades might continue to another party night. The women they court are those who wouldn’t want a kid ruining their party life. Even in the instance contraception failed, abortion would be highly likely. The chances of Darwinian success from being a pickup artist/seducer are nil.
Ironically, these party people would enjoy considerably greater success according to the standards they hold dear if they converted to conservative monotheism and entered into a traditional marriage.
Ironically, the very car salesman skills of super socialites that allow them a quick night of sex tend to impede any aims at having any sort of deeper satisfaction than the immediately physical.
For all their labors, they obtain very little more than their own hand could have given them. They perhaps obtain less in terms of intimacy than a masseuse might have given them.
The mystique that Western culture attaches to the act of intercourse is altogether undeserved. This writer has had what could be termed extremely casual sex. It was a pleasant experience, but nothing I would base an entire lifestyle around.
I have talked with many others who have had sex and express similar sentiments. Nothing spectacular unless there is some kind of deeper personal attachment involved.
What the pickup artists really become obsessed with is the ability to make the sale, however dubious the product. The rush of subduing another human being through wits alone. However, even the power that a seducer wields is an illusion.
The pickup artist must define himself by his quarry. He is a shapeshifter morphing into whatever form his target’s desires might take. He is but a slave making himself whatever others want him to be, a product well marketed to instant gratification.
Pickup artists, seducers, spend years perfecting their art. The time and energy they spend becoming adepts is time taken away from other modes of development.
The introvert often engages in sexual intimacy sparingly:
Firstly, introverts, haven’t the opportunity because they do not have the willingness to actively sell themselves. Their identity is too grounded to be malleable even if they should try.
The introvert better understands: sexual intimacy is the pleasure of life that endangers all others. Its tendency to distract and its many possible negative and even deadly outcomes are a considerable obstacle to all else. Large amounts or time, money, and energy are required to enjoy this activity that can be experienced to a lesser, but not at all insubstantial degree for free: not to mention at one’s convenience and without any risk or effort. Overall: an awful deal and hyped up beyond all proportion.